The head of marketing draws a line on the ground in red marker pen, saying

"On this side we have VUD (TM) washing powder. On the other side is ORDINARY (TM) powder. Gentlemen, you have chosen your weapons - may the best brand win!"

Taking your places either side of the line, you and your opponent commence battle.

"En guarde!" cries your opponent, thrusting and parrying like a pro. Desperately you cast your mind back to all those wasted hours watching Errol Flynn films on BBC2 and struggle to remember some of the moves. All you can recall is lots of people in silk stockings shouting "touche" a lot and twiddling their moustaches.

"Touche" you shout out of sheer desperation, and thrust your umbrella at the N in ORDINARY. By some miracle it meets its mark, and the Chairman of the board of directors of the Ordinary Corporation falters and falls to the ground.

"I am done for!" he cries. "Sir, I congratulate you - you have outclassed me. VUD (TM) washes whitest after all. To die, to soap - no more! And in that soap what suds may come... Goodnight, sweet bubbles!" And with that, he dies. In all the ensuing confusion, you and Donald (who is still dressed as Little Bo-Peep) manage to sneak away.