Unfortunately, since you don't have a mat, the friction between the slide and the seat of your pants soon begins to generate a little heat. When you are about halfway down the Helter-Skelter little wisps of smoke start to pour from your posterior. By the time you reach the bottom your own bottom is on fire.

Will you:

a) Sit in a puddle of water,
or b) Sit in a puddle of gasoline?