'What happened to the band?' You ask.

'Oh, they never turn up to their own gigs,' replies the fat gnome. 'They're a protest band and that's the way they protest. But I've been to every one. I'm their biggest fan!' he gushes.

'You're certainly big,' you reply.

'You couldn't help me out, could you old chap - I can't seem to get down from the stage!'

Will you help him out, or head for the exit?