The head of marketing draws a line on the ground in red marker pen, saying

"On this side we have VUD (TM) washing powder. On the other side is ORDINARY (TM) powder. Gentlemen, you have chosen your weapons - may the best brand win!"

Taking your places either side of the line, you and your opponent commence battle.

"En guarde!" cries your opponent, thrusting and parrying like a pro. Desperately you cast your mind back to all those wasted hours watching Errol Flynn films on BBC2 and struggle to remember some of the moves. All you can recall is lots of people in silk stockings shouting "touche" a lot and twiddling their moustaches.

"Touche!" You shout uncertainly, thrusting your umbrella vaguely in the direction of your enemy, but unfortunately it unfurls just at the wrong moment and is carried away by a gust of wind. Defenceless, you are struck down by a thrust from your opponent's umbrella which catches you between the ribs. You clutch at your wound, and a blue-white powder trickles through your fingers from a deep gash in the box.

"VUD! (TM)" you gasp, collapsing to the floor, "I'm done for!" Fading fast, the world begins to swim before your eyes. Suddenly Donald, who has all this time been busy making balloon animals, is standing over you. He asks if you have any last words, and if not, would you mind helping him to blow up his balloon. No longer in any position to argue, you struggle to draw your last breath, press the balloon your lips, and expire. FIN.